They say that you can’t go wrong with honesty. Honesty allows everyone to identify where they stand. And the greatest thing about honesty is that it can be applied to not just your lover, but also your friends and family.
Some people find it inconceivably difficult to be honest. Saying I love you face to face for the first time can be a nightmarish experience, wondering if the response will be “thank you” or worse “I have to go”.
Honesty, for me, is not one of life’s problems. In fact, I care so much about honesty I insist upon voicing details which in certain scenarios, can be unwelcome to say the least. I realised this whilst sitting alone in a casual downtown bar on Tuesday night. My drinking partner of the evening had gone to the bathroom. I had a moment of silence to reflect on the pitiless monologue I had just recited.
Did I feel regret, I wondered. Arriving at the conclusion that I did not, I realised that honesty to me is more important than its effects. Some people, I have learned, prefer lies. This may be controversial to say, and god knows it will anger many to read, but it is the truth--and it is for this reason that people will be angered.
As a pro-honesty person, you would think that I wouldn’t be able to pretend play with a lover when I was experiencing a separate emotional journey myself. Not so. But it is not about being able, I have learned. It is about choice. Did I really want to conceal my feelings to enable another person to feel that everything is hunky dory?
I may be selfish, I thought, but I am not self-destructive. And I wouldn’t be changing my policy for anyone.
Friday, March 30, 2007
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