Coffee & Monogamy

Now don't get me wrong, I like Starbucks as much as the next coffee-lover, but it is with the Irish-owned Butlers Chocolate Cafe I am having what you could call a long-standing love affair.

The affair had started long before Starbucks moved into Dublin, and whilst the latter had plenty to offer that didn't exist at the former, I had already very much settled in my relationship with Butlers, and found that its small, less-corporate, homely feel was definitely enough to keep me there.

Like any live-in lover, I see Mr or Ms Butler every morning before anyone else, and like any lover worth their salt, my coffee comes not too quickly, so as to let me enjoy the experience of waiting, watching the journey it makes, and most importantly, it comes with chocolate.

The unfortunate part of my affair, I hesitate to say, is the price that I must pay before I've even taken a sip. And sure, it's only €260, but like relationships, coffee is addictive, and "every little helps" as Tesco says -- or something like that. The consolation to this, absent at some other coffee institutions, is my loyalty card. In relationships, a loyalty card would surely increase chances of monogamous behaviour, given that there's an incentive not to shop around and miss out on a stamp, or a hole, as is the case with a cafe in Dublin 6 I won't namecheck.

What if, like after seven cups of coffee, after seven sessions of steam, you were to recieve a free session? Free, you might say, is the availability of your significant other on all occasions. But, boundaries exist, surely, unless it is a case you've got yourself hooked up with Mr or Ms Open-to-suggestion. What if, I wondered, the eighth session, just like the eighth cup, was laid out on a plate, with extra options. Say, for instance, "Would you like an extra shot or perhaps some cream?"

As I strolled through my day of successes and stresses, all seeming relevant and monumental at the time, when in fact they are the most minut of details, I had to wonder, why is it that I give in to doing it twice -- as in drinking that second cup of Butlers before I leave the city. Is it because I need to see the familiar face who's still present and pleasant since my morning visit, like a lover on significant other's return from work, is it that I need a hit of espresso, or is it simply the old concept of "you're the first thing I think of in the morning, and the last at night"?

I had one final thought: which party would distribute this loyalty card in a relationship? And who would be the holder? It all boils down to one thing: Who runs the coffee shop in your relationship?